Ian's Never Changing Nose
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: The press keeps bothering the Blitzkrieg Boys about Ian's apparently changing nose.  But what's really going on?  Will there be consequences?  Rated T for tricky surgeons.


_**A/N**__: Hello, I am here… with an Ian parody fic-thing! :D_

_**Dedication**__: Eidolon Twilight Princess! Wahaha!_

_**Warning**__: Uh… some swearing, plastic surgery mayhem, sedation mention, mischief, OOCness, randomness, chaos, etc_

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own Beyblade or anything remotely cool either :(_

People were starting to get suspicious; really suspicious. Something was fishy about Ian, that's for sure. Of course, his team all denied it. And why wouldn't they? The Blitzkrieg Boys had other things to worry about than Ian's ever changing nose.

Um, Ian's never changing nose. Never changing. It's NOT changing at all, damn it!

Well, that's what they tell the press anyway. "Damn vultures, why can't they just leave us alone?" Tala muttered. "Isn't there something, anything, a bit more important than Ian's nose? Like, oh I don't know, world fucking peace?"

"It's just not as entertaining you know," Bryan answered. "Ian's nose is rather funny looking." He smirked at the youngest team member.

"Hey! My nose isn't that bad!" Ian subconsciously traced the outline of his nose hesitantly. "Is it?"

His question was met with silence, but that's ok, since they thought they knew it was rhetorical. The four pressed on, making their way towards the plastic surgeon's office.

They walked up to the receptionist's desk. "Hi, we're here for some face-altering appointment." Tala said, gesturing to Ian.

The lady smiled. "Ok, I have the forms all filled out for you." She handed them over to Ian. "Here you go, just double-check for errors, ok?" He nodded and went to sit down.

"We really do come here too often…" Ian whined. "They know EVERYTHING. My full name, my address, my phone numbers…"

"It can't be that bad." Spencer tried to reassure him. Too bad that didn't work too well.

"They know my account numbers. And my social security number too. I'm officially screwed." Ian took a deep breath. "Actually, I have decided something, you guys. This is going to be my last plastic surgery."

The team gasped. "No way! You love these surgeries! You say they make you feel like a different, better man! That it makes up for all the bad press!"

"Calm down Tala, I have my reasons, don't worry. Besides, if my nose stops changing, the press will leave us alone. Wouldn't that be great?"

"Ok, if that's what you want, then we'll stop. We just want you to be happy Ian."

"What the fuck Bryan? You don't talk like that, at least, not to me."

"Whatever."

Spencer spoke up now. "The surgeon is waiting for you Ian."

Ian stood up, and walked on over to the surgeon he'd gone to for a long time.

"It's good to see you again Ian," Brooklyn smiled a bit. "I've been worried that you'd forgotten about me."

Ian snorted. "Like I could forget about you Brooklyn. You're only the one who remodels my nose after all."

"Very true. So sit down, you know what to do. So do I." As Ian made himself comfortable, the plastic surgeon continued. "So I hear this is your last one, what a pity."

"… How'd you know it's the last one? And why is it a pity?" Ian asked hesitantly.

"I know these things Ian. I _am_ a doctor after all. And it's a pity because I won't get to transform your nose anymore. Of course, it is your decision, but I'm just saying I'll miss this."

Ian just stared at him dully. "Uh… right…" He then gestured to his nose, not-so-subtly.

"Ah yes, let us get to work here." Brooklyn gave Ian his drugs, his sweet, sweet sedatives…

And he was out.

When Ian awoke, he felt very out of it. Usually, he can take this effect of the surgery process very well, but something seemed… _different_ this time. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but something was not right.

Dismissing his concern, Ian waved goodbye to his ex-plastic surgeon. "See you around Brooklyn."

"Oh yes, we shall. Have fun in the meantime." Brooklyn smiled slightly.

Ian left, and headed back to his team. Looking them over, he sighed. Two were sleeping, and Bryan was constructing something suspicious-looking. He didn't want to know.

"I'm done! Let's go home." He yelled in their direction, ignoring the stares he received. Presumably it was from the abrupt noise increase.

On the way home, he realized that all three teammates were staring at him.

"What? What are you staring at? Is something on my face?"

They all stifled their laughter, and Tala answered him. "Ian, I don't know how to say this, but… your nose keeps changing shape. As in, you have a chameleon nose. But it doesn't have a damn reason to change so much. What did he do to you?"

Ian looked in the mirror, and was horrified. His nose was, in fact, ever changing. Too bad the press didn't know how literal this was.

He only hoped that they'd never find out. Ian could just imagine the headlines now: "Smallest Blitzkrieg Boy Has Shape-Shifting Nose, New Blading Strategy?"

He wasn't going to leave the house any time soon.

_**A/N**__: I could totally see that as his blading strategy; distraction! XD Poor Ian._

_Any thoughts would be appreciated :3_

_Peace and love_

_chocolatexloverx16_


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